Posts Tagged With: Email

From the Email File

From the notorious email file… I would like to present you with several posts about eating.  It was too good not to do a second post.  This might be it, though.


Me: To Whom It May Concern (Just in case you’re confused, that’s you),

This is a reminder that you have a hot date tonight with the most amazing woman in the world (Just in case you’re confused, that’s me). Don’t forget about me and go play DnD before I can eat dinner with you, OK?  See you soon!!

Brian: Thank you for your email. One of our representatives will respond to you within 3-4 business years.

Me: I’m sorry, but that’s unacceptable.  I’d like to speak to your manager immediately.

Brian: She’s experiencing a backlog of complaints. Allow 6-8 years for a response.


Me: I just found out that it’s Baked Potato Day… in DCA only and nowhere else!  Oh the injustice!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??

Brian: You’re weird, dear.

Me: And you married me.

In related news, I finished everything I absolutely have to do today early.  I think a trip to DCA is in order…

Brian: LOL. 🙂



It is strongly recommended that you not go to lunch at Café Adobe today.  Your wife will most likely want to eat dinner there, and it will be a tragedy if she cannot, due to your prior dining at the establishment.  That is all.

Brian: According to Google Maps, the nearest Café Adobe is in San Jose, so I’ll just go to Taco Adobe instead. 😛

Me: So what you’re saying is… you don’t love me enough to take me to San Jose tonight?

Brian: No. I’m saying that it’s a six hour drive, and I don’t think we’ll get back in time for your 7:00 class. Just thinking of you, dear. 🙂

Me: Oh, we’ll have plenty of time if we fly into Oakland for dinner and then fly back for class.  I have Dramamine stashed in my purse…

Brian: You do realize that this isn’t like Star Trek, where we can magically beam ourselves onto an airplane bound for San Jose, right? We actually have to drive to the Long Beach airport, board an airplane, fly to San Jose, disembark, hail a taxi to the restaurant, eat, hail a taxi back, board another airplane, fly back to Long Beach, then drive from the airport to your class; all in the space of two hours. I should also mention the niggling, little detail that there aren’t any flights leaving for San Jose from Long Beach this evening.

Other than that, your plan sounds perfect. Perfectly CRAZY!

Me: Can I just say that I love that you looked up the logistics getting an airplane from Long Beach.

Also… I’ve been brainwashed by Star Trek to think that we can, in fact, beam ourselves aboard an airplane bound for San Jose.  And it’s not magic, it’s 24th century science.  Duh.

Brian:  Then my work is done.  Also, I’ve never been more turned on than I am right now.


Brian: I’m frustrated… [insert work rant here]. Please, can I just have my life back the way it was?

Me: I just want you to know that all your troubles are over because, lo, it is Baked Potato Day and the peasants rejoice.

Brian: I don’t like potatoes. 😛

Me: Um…EVERYONE likes the Disney potatoes.  Besides, you don’t have to actually eat one for its good mojo to get all over your day.

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Old Email Files


Brian and I e-mail each other back and forth at work.  It used to be more frequent, when we were both less busy, but quite a few silly things fly back and forth on the internets between us still.  I’ve saved most of the funniest ones in my email, and I was reading over them this morning.  Among many references to Baked Potato Day and odd pictures of bunnies, I found this gem from several years ago:

Me: Just so you know, we’re attending PBDA’s dance on Saturday July 2nd no matter what.  It’s Pete Jacobs Wartime Radio Revue, and they’re awesome.

Brian: Oh… I think I’m sick that weekend. Let me check my calendar… 😛

Me: I think it must me Jackass Fever… that’s what happens when you’re such a jerk all the time.

Brian: I think that’s a childhood disease. 🙂

Me: Yes, but you can get it when you’re an adult too.  It’s supposed to be way worse when you’re older, like Chicken Pox.

Brian: Chicken Pox, when you’re older, are called shingles. Jack Ass Fever, when you’re older, is called handsome.

Me: Thanks for that bit of trivia.  I had always heard it called Paininthepatoot, but that must be its Latin name.

Brian: No, you’re thinking of the condition where you have a great, big, ol’ stick up your butt. That usually only affects old people with lawns.

Me: It’s a good thing we don’t have a lawn, otherwise you would be highly susceptible.  Gasp!

Brian: Hey! I’m not old!

Me: Of course you’re not, dear.

Brian: Damn skippy. Now, as I was… wait… was that sarcasm?

Me: Of course not.  I would never be sarcastic to you.

Brian: Okay, good. Now as I was… wait a second… what was I talking about again?

Me: We were talking about how handsome you are.

Brian: That’s a discussion that could take hours.

Me: It really could.  I just wanted to say that you’re extra handsome when you take me out to see Pete Jacobs and his Wartime Radio Revue.

Brian: I am? Well in that case, we should go see them. When are they playing again?

Me: Saturday night, July 2nd 🙂

Brian: We are so there!

In closing, I would like to offer you two pictures of bunnies for your viewing pleasure.  This e-mail file is GOLD, I tell you.

unnamed image001

Categories: Life | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

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