Life

Fifteen

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From the Music School Halloween Recital. Left to right: Jennifer, Taylor, my sister, me.  I’m about 12.

 

It is strange how moments from your childhood can engulf you, and suddenly you are fifteen again.

When I was fifteen, I babysat for Taylor and Anne every Tuesday night.  Christine, their mother, had been my piano teacher since I was four and was also one of my mother’s best friends.  Tuesdays were full of board games, homework, amateur cooking exploits, movies.  I cooked dinner from the hall bedroom for months when Christine had the kitchen redone.  I typed out Taylor’s handwritten English assignments so she could complete her math homework and get to bed at a decent time.  I played endless games of Harry Potter Clue with Anne.  The night usually wound up with a fight over whose book I would read aloud from.  If I did voices, we laughed so much that my breath evaporated and I couldn’t continue.

When I was fifteen, my mother had trombone students.  My sister and I would hibernate in the back of the house and try to ignore the loud hoots of sound coming from the living room.  “How can you stand it?” asked a boyfriend of my sister’s, long after.  We just did, it had always been a part of our life.  When Claremont Community School of Music had events, my mother would drag us along.  The school rented space from a small and low concrete strip mall.  Sandy, another good friend of my mother’s, would always be there, and so would Christine.  Sandy would bring her daughter Jennifer, who was fast friends with my sister.  Inevitably, we were the only children at the event.  There was a small and pink Baskin Robbins at the front of the strip mall.  The five of us would eat ice cream, sip water, and laugh in the middle of that pink island in the night while we waited for our parents to bring us home.

My parents liked having parties at our sprawling tract house.  Summer nights, Sandy and her husband Art, Christine, Taylor and Anne, sometimes Jennifer, would come over to the house.  My father would cook something fancy and we would eat in the backyard under the stars.  Mass quantities of wine was consumed by the adults.

Taylor graduated from college last weekend, and yesterday was the party.  It was a backyard barbeque of epic proportions.  Round folding tables and chairs were spread with purple and yellow tablecloths for the school colors.  The event was catered by her father’s gourmet restaurant.  There was even a bearded man with a microphone in the corner playing guitar.  A lemon tree dangled yellow fruit over the tables.  Lush plants overflowed their field rock walls, spilling onto the island of grass in the middle of the yard.  It was just as it had been when I was fifteen, only more so.

I joined my mother and stepdad at a table in the corner next to the glossy leaves of a camellia bush.  Sandy and Art sat with them.  Jennifer pulled a chair over, and then Anne.  Christine was next, and Taylor migrated our direction for a while.  We ate beef brisket and cupcakes with metallic sprinkles.  The afternoon turned to dusk around us.  I hadn’t had an afternoon with these people in years, and it was just like it had always been.  I was not turning thirty one in a week and a half.  I forgot that I had a husband at home in the middle of a kitchen re-do.  I was a daughter, a babysitter, a piano student, a teenager.  For a brief four hours, I was fifteen again.

Too bad it didn’t last any longer than that.

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Graduation

Grad

Today, I graduate.  I have always been a believer that thanks and props should be public, especially when they involve Brian, and especially because the rest of our relationship is fairly private.  Without his support, this day would not have arrived.  Here is the contents of the card I gave him this morning:

Brian,

There are many, many reasons why you are my favorite.  Your love and support while I completed my BA is just one of them.  I know it wasn’t always easy to pay bills, that our life stalled a bit, and there were whole semesters sometimes where we didn’t see each other.   For every fight you had with me about a paper, I want to thank you.  There were so many nights that your encouraging words were all that was between me and despair.

I will always remember the night we lit candles in the piazza with the incoming class, and the night we danced to the band at Senior Convocation, or the thousands of magical Chapman moments in between. Thanks for taking this journey with me, and for sacrificing while I took it.  I love you more than is expressible.

Casey

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Things I Learned This Week:

Flea Market

Understanding heat exhaustion and learning how to manage it makes for a better time in the heat.  I still didn’t enjoy the 99 degree weather this weekend, but at least I didn’t collapse into a terrible mess like I’ve done while hiking.

Trivets with guys in awesome uniforms exist.  And now they’re mine.

Being about to graduate and then going to family gatherings means that large groups of people tell you how wonderful you are, and how proud they are.  Graduations also come with red velvet cupcakes.  Note to self: graduate more often.

I never ever want to leave Chapman ever.  Please don’t make me.

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Singin’ In The Rain

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For my grandfather’s birthday, the family all bought tickets to go see Singin’ In The Rain at the Segerstrom center. The movie plays, and their pops orchestra plays the soundtrack. I love this movie so much that it’s hard to describe. I can sing all the songs. I can do some of the dances. It has a little too much cheese for Brian, however. When it played in movie theaters, my sister Cody and I had a date to go see it. Brian refused.

We sat in our red velvet seats on the top balcony. A vertiginous experience if there ever was one, as Brian says. The blonde wood and the white stage when coupled with the sea of red seats beneath us was so beautiful. The movie screen was small, but it was nice that we could see the orchestra. At the Hollywood Bowl, when they do the Sound of Music Sing Along, the projector obscures the players.

Brian sat in his chair, slumped, and he flipped through the program. I set my purse down underneath my chair, but then I just couldn’t contain myself any longer.

“I’m so excited!!!!!!!!!” I said, patting him on the knee. “I can’t wait. Do you know why?”

“No, why?”

“Because a pretty girl is like a work of art.”

Brian rolled his eyes.

“And all I do the whole night through is dream of you,” I said.

“Am I going to be subjected to this the whole night?” he asked.

“Yes. Because Moses supposes his toeses are roses, it would be erroneous to expect anything else.”

“Don’t make me kill you,” he said.

“Oh Pierre, you shouldn’t have come!” I replied.

And then the lights dimmed, and the full music surrounded us. It was such a perfect moment that I got tears in my eyes as I watched them stride down the screen in their rain slickers. Did I mention I love this movie? I spent the rest of the night glad that I married my own Cosmo Brown and not Don Lockwood, dashing as he is. Cosmo is much more fun.

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Of Bikes and Dream Jobs

I told Brian about my idyllic little picture last night. This is the conversation we had:

Brian: Stop saying that!! You’ve stolen MY dream, just so you know.

Me: Really? You want to ride around on a teal beach cruiser?

Brian: Well, you know, less dresses and a manlier bike. Like without the wicker basket but with a grappling gun mounted on the handle bars. That’s super manly. I work on the second floor, so I’ll totally need a way to get to my office. I’ll just shoot that thing into the window. They make grappling guns for bikes, right?

Me: Ummm…

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Searching…

Applying for jobs feels a bit like a betrayal. Disney has been good to me, and I thank them for four years of putting up with my insane school schedule; especially the semester I had to work mostly weekends and couldn’t talk to anyone in real life because I was always gone. That was a real pain. I’m applying for jobs anyway, though.

So, here I am. I’ve updated my resume. I’ve penned several cover letters. I have visions in my head of working at the college in my home town, just a few miles down the road from my house. I could buy a teal bike, a beach cruiser, with a giant wicker basket on the front and a bell. I could ride it to work every morning. My skirt would drape artfully over the pedals without danger of getting caught in the spokes.

I could be home at 5:15 every night. I would take off my fancy dress, put on my jeans, and make dinner barefoot in the kitchen. Brian could come home every night to a clean house (okay, cleaner house). I could wake up at 6:00am and write the morning away, cup of earl gray by my elbow. It would be so peaceful.

Why is it that things never end up exactly as we picture them? I’ve applied for the job, I’m crossing my fingers they call me. Now is just the waiting and the dreaming.

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Spring Slump

These last few weeks have been rather depressing, really. At least that’s how I feel in this immediate second. I know that I don’t really have much to complain about, and my current desire to whine is probably tied to the way my sleep-deprived brain functions on improbable amounts of sugar. Somehow that does not seem to help me feel any better.

People talk about winter as being the time when the blues set in, but for me it is usually the spring. Allergies attack, duties pile up. Before I know it, I am drowning in the desire to lay on the couch and watch embarrassing television for weeks. I consider this year a bit of a victory, because I didn’t completely sabotage my grades during the annual Spring Slump. It’s a small victory, but I’ll take it. I seem to be getting better at battling this with age.

I did a lot of writing this week that I was proud of; a piece on how feminism has failed me, and an impressive cover letter. The computer dumped them both. They don’t exist anywhere. I’ve re-created the cover letter, but I haven’t had the heart to re-create the other.

I shall close this out by resolving to get more sleep and be a cheerful girl tomorrow. Or as soon as I can.

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Renaissance Faire

The Renaissance Faire garners a lot of criticism for their fluffy portrayal of history. And it is terribly fluffy. I hate to break anyone’s bubble, but frozen bananas were not a thing of the past. Nor were dragon puppets, bows with arrows tipped in rubber erasers, cloth tapestries of yin-yang symbols, or hair wreaths where the dye runs in the rain. Only the wealthiest people could afford to eat a turkey leg. Artichokes existed nowhere outside of Greece.

The atmosphere at Faire seethes. Dust clings to everything, mingling with sweat so that when I come home, I can tell the exact location of my bodice by the dark line of gray across my chest. The crowd is a confluence of those in trademark bodice and skirts or doublet and pants, those in princess costumes of satin with lurid gold trim, barbarians, colorful jesters with elaborate codpieces, fairies, those in jeans and t-shirts. A woman has pinned a button to the bodice in front of her vast breasts that says Nice day, aren’t they? The dusty road, really a sea of people, serpentines through aisles of booths. Hawkers cry their wares.

“Faire Special!” yells a man with a pole full of hair wreathes. “Buy two, get two!”

“Hot Chestnuts!” says a woman behind a red metal push cart. “Put my hot nuts in your mouth!”

The serpentine streets dump out at the jousting stadium, a collection of metal bleachers draped with flags.

And yet, for all the historical travesty, the Renaissance Faire gets at least one thing right. Public drunkenness. It is the truth that during most of history alcohol was readily available and most of the population was drunk most of the time. Water was usually polluted, untrustworthy. If you didn’t want to get dysentery, beer was much healthier than water. In the words of Dr. Estes from Chapman University, “back then almost everyone was drunk pretty much all of the time.”

When I heard this in class, a lot of things suddenly made sense. Like jousting.

And so the point of this meditation on the joys of the Renaissance Faire is to say, history might surprise you. The things that seem authentic are often not, and vice versa. The next time you see a sprite, wings attached by elastic to her shoulders, holding a plastic cup of beer in her hand, know that at least one thing in that equation is a certified historic experience.

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Peter Cottontail

I know Easter is long past, but a friend of mine just posted this from our breakfast:

Casey and her Ukulele – Peter Cottontail

I learned to play it the night before, so be kind to me. 🙂

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Easter: 2013

Easter is tomorrow. I always take on too much and spend most of my day baking pies and spinach squares while simultaneously trying to put together a scavenger hunt for a pair of high-schoolers who are probably smarter than I am. I also try (usually unsuccessfully) not to panic. Brian calls it the Annual Easter Freak-Out. I am instructed not to have one ever year, and yet it never works out that way.

This year, I got a reprieve. My sister is bringing desert, Brian is providing an adult hunt that everyone can participate in, and I’m just on the hook for spinach squares and a vegetable. Amazing. Instead of baking all day, I spent most of it learning to play “Here Comes Peter Cottontail” on the ukulele. I bought supplies for spinach squares after 9:00pm, that’s how prepared I am. I made Brian come with me, and we realized in the parking lot that we didn’t have prizes for the hunt winners.

“We’re going to the grocery store. We can just pick up some chocolate bunnies or something, and we’ll be good to go,” I said.

“Or a gift certificate,” said Brian.

“We could do a gift certificate and a chocolate bunny,” I suggested.

“We could do a gift certificate IN a chocolate bunny!”

“What?!”

“See this is what we’ll do,” Brian said. “We’ll break the head off the bunny, shove the gift certificate inside, and then melt the head back on. It will be the best Easter prize ever!”

“Because nothing says Easter like Frankenstein bunnies,” I said.

“EXACTLY!!”

Somehow, I think this is going to be the best Easter ever…

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