Of Chickens and Pies


Brian: Is that rooster on the billboard up there named Rex Goliath?

Me: Um, yes I think it is.  If we ever have a rooster, we should really name it Rex Goliath.  Not that we’ll ever have a rooster. 

Brian: Why not?  I want to own chickens some day.

Me: (revolted expression on my face) Why?

Brian: For the eggs, and stuff.

Me: But we hardly ever eat eggs.

Brian: But fresh eggs are extra good.  We’d eat fresh eggs.

Me: I don’t think we would.  I don’t think owning chickens is going to make us super prolific egg eaters.

Brian: Well, you could put them in pies. 

Me: Uh, why am I putting the chickens in pies?

Brian: Not the chickens, the eggs.  What the hell is wrong with you?

Me: (after several minutes of laughing) Lots, but I think that’s a bigger discussion than you want to have right now.  Besides, how many pies am I making?

Brian: I don’t know.  Enough to use up the eggs.  You could bake cakes too.  Like one a week or something.  We’ll move out into the country. 

Me: Unless you want to have a 600 pound wife, I don’t think that’s a viable option. 

Brian: You don’t have to eat them.  You could have a pie and cake stand, and give them out to all our country neighbors.

Me: Because we’ll have thousands of neighbors living in the country.  Also, why am I the one baking stuff.  I think YOU should start a pie stand in the country. 

Brian: Um, what?  I couldn’t possibly, because.  You… it’s your calling. 

Me: Uh huh.

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