Emer’s Diary

February 23, 1033

I’ve made my decision.  It’s finally time to leave this Temple of Boccob.  I’ve learned everything I can from Madam Samanda, and I know she disaproves of my studies of evocation.  She doesn’t say anything, but her brown eyes flash when I speak of it, and truly, I can see how she wouldn’t understand how I can have such an aptitude for something she could care less about.  I know it would be easier for her if I studied what she studied, but I just can’t seem to care about illusion the way she does.  And she can’t help me anymore than she already has with the forces of nature I find irresistible.

It’s been ice cold this winter, which I think has added to my unrest.  We’ve had snow almost daily, with drifts up to my shoulders.  The cold just creeps into my little room, the stone walls all rimed with ice, the long narrow window letting in only a fraction of what little gray light we get, the air alive with snowflakes and nothing but the bright quilt on my bed to help keep me warm.  I’ve been barred from the courtyard, even.  Usually the worst storms only serve to push a wall of snow across the western wall, but this winter it was completely full of icy fluff – impossible to walk there and get some excercise in the small intervals when it wasn’t gusting and storming.  It’s good I didn’t make the decision to go until now.  I would have been extra restless, knowing I couldn’t leave even if I wanted to.  The snows have already let up, leaving frozen heaps of dirty ice and hard snow everywhere.  Soon it will be warm enough for travel, and I intend to know where I’n going by then so I can catch the first wagon out of here. 

I shouldn’t think like that.  Really, I will be sad to leave.  This temple has been my home for so long that I don’t know if I’ll even be able to like another place, no matter how nice it is.  And I’ll be sad to leave the newbies behind.  They always remind me of myself, adolescents of only a hundred years old, roaming the halls at first as uncertain as can be, but gradually realizing that this place is their home now.  As I did.  It’s sweet. 

February 28, 1033

Two Wizards from an adventuring party stayed here last night.  They went away this morning, but they took a few dozen letters of inquiry for me and promised to post them in town.  I hope I’ll hear soon… I’m quite excited for new adventures, but starting to feel rootless.  It’s very disconcerting.

I took Xanda’s class today as well as my own, Xanda having quite a head cold.  Fon refuses to “desecrate his art” by healing her for something so trifling as a head cold, and Xanda’s been cranky about it all day.  I took her class so she could stay in and rest, and I must say that her class is much more lively than mine, and not always in a good way!  They were attempting to learn Open/Close using a set of hinged boxes, but the ammount of squabbling that went on over who got to use which box, and who was Opening or Closing the box of their neighbor was amazing to me.  I finally yelled at them all in quite an unseemly burst of temper, but things only went slightly better after that.  You can imagine how glad I was to return to my little serious class of first levelers.  They, at least, were orderly and courteous, whatever their magical abilities. 

I let Madam Samanda know that I was thinking of leaving, and she told me they would miss me much without surprise, or real emotion.  She doesn’t quite seem to understand my need of evocation, but she does know that no one in the temple can help me farther with any kind of magical study.  I’ve been at a stagnant point for some time, and she understands why I’m going.  Madam Samanda also offered to send a few letters on my behalf to some of her colleagues.  That was very kind of her, for, of course, she owes me nothing.  The letters should go by post tomorrow.  Excitement tingles in my fingers.

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