Posts Tagged With: Weekend

Extension Cord Peril

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My grandfather has always been a little quirky.  His latest DIY is usually my favorite thing ever, and they happen frequently… like when a lizard got into the house accidentally, and he installed cardboard and duct-tape “lizard flaps” across the bottom of all the doors.  Or when the paint started to oxidize on the top of his old car, so he bought a can of spray paint and was disappointed by the way it looked when finished.  Or how he leaves notes on my car that aren’t usually at all noteworthy.

My father is also known for his strange antics.  Like the clogs he bought when he took an evening job for fun at Border’s Café back in the day.  Plastic, so he could put them in the dishwasher when they got dirty – which he did all the time.  You’d open the thing for a clean plate and find shoes instead.

I’m not around as often, so I don’t get to witness the shenanigans like I used to.  But every week my dad and I meet at my grandfather’s house and go to breakfast together with whoever can join us, and this week we were waiting for my sister to arrive.

“Come out and keep me company,” he said, peeking his head through the door to the garage.

So I went outside, and he was holding the most decrepit extension cord I’ve ever seen in my life.  In two pieces.

“What the?  What happened?” I said.

“Puppa cut the thing in half with a chainsaw when he was doing yard work.”  He  had a pair of wire cutters in his hand, and he was carefully cutting the rubber from the sliced end of the chord.  And then I notice all the silver lumps of duct tape down the line.

“What are you doing?” I said.

“Splicing it back together,” he said like I really should have known better than to ask that question.  Because why would anyone ever buy a new extension cord once they had sliced it in half? And it had been repaired, oh, a half-dozen times already.  Puppa slicing it in half with a chainsaw is evidently an epidemic.

He finished stripping the wires and then twisted the two halves together, copper hanging free.  And then he pulled open a drawer and started shuffling through the tape.

“I don’t know if there’s electrical tape in here.  Dad!” he yelled.  “Dad, electrical tape?!  Hang on,” he told me.  “I’ll be back.”

He disappeared into the bowels of the house to find Puppa, and when he came out he started rooting in the tape drawer again.

“We don’t have any electrical tape,” he said.  “I don’t think we can do this without electrical tape, it’s not very safe.”

AS IF ANY OF THIS WAS SAFE TO BEGIN WITH.

I started laughing, and I couldn’t stop.  This right here is my heritage, folks.  To be fair, I was totally willing to let him plug it in and see what happened, so I may not be entirely blameless myself.  I did manage to convince my dad that he should just gift Puppa a new extension cord, so at least he’ll be safe until the next time he cuts through the thing.

Also, I missed this.

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Weekends

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Brian is leaving me.

For the weekend to attend Anime Con in Los Angeles.  He’s running the D&D games, and a few of them he wrote himself.  He’s excited about it.  I will be lonely in my empty bed.  I will be forced to commute an hour and a half to Orange alone.

“I’m going to have to figure out what to do with you gone this weekend,” I said.

“Who is Yugon?” said Brian, very indignant.

“That’s terrible,” I said.

“Yes, I know,” he admitted.

But we both laughed anyway.

I have snuck a note into his shaving kit for him to find later.  It makes terrible puns about knocking ‘em dead and killing things in D&D, and it’s very loving.

I suppose what I’m really planning on doing is all the rewriting I’ve been avoiding for my grad school application.  I’m having one of those weeks where I am certain that I have no right at all to call myself a writer – just look at the drivel I’ve written –they will never accept me to grad school in a millennium.  I will be Denied.  There is no question.  It makes it hard to pitch in and slog through rewrites, even though I know it’s all in my mind.  I will go back to believing that I’m brilliant soon, I promise.  It’s just this week of weird weather and head colds that is getting me down.

But this weekend will be full of writing and mass quantities of Jasmine tea (overly sweet with sugar).  And then on Sunday, I will have a husband again.

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