I usually get a little sappy around the 4th of July, but this year I haven’t had the time. I cannot believe that the holiday is coming up so quickly. Where has all the time gone? I am not nearly prepared enough to don my tricorn hat and revel in the streets while fireworks boom. I haven’t pondered large thoughts about America and patriotism. I haven’t made an all-Sousa playlist on Spotify that I can cook to.
Speaking of songs on the 4th of July… I’m gonna post some song lyrics for you to enjoy instead of doing a sappy post. Collecting strange songs and lyrics to things we’ve forgotten have any is a hobby of mine. I can sing you the words to Pomp and Circumstance, to Stars and Stripes Forever. I know songs about lemon trees and following rainbows. And I also know a cadre of inappropriate lyrics to traditional songs. I will give this gift to you on the birthday of our nation:
When everyone else is singing God Bless America, you, my friend, can be singing God Bless My Underwear.
God bless my underwear
My only pair
Stand beside it, and guide it
Through the holes, and the rips, and the tears.
*
Through the washer,
Through the dryer,
On the clothesine,
Everywhere.
*
God bless my underwear
My only pair
God bless my underwear
My only pair.
Only quality things at the Hamilton residence. Bonus points if someone knows the harmony and/or can do a good Kate Smith impression. Have fun, be safe, and consume way too much sugar for me. I’ll see you next Tuesday.
Casey E. Hamilton 