Monthly Archives: October 2014

To Nanowrimo or not to Nanowrimo? That is the question.

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Nanowrimo starts tomorrow (that’s National Novel Writing Month), and I am still deciding whether or not to participate. I know, right? Nothing like waiting until the last minute.

Except that this isn’t really the last minute. I have a novel, I have an outline, I have a cover. It’s great, just like all novels are great before they’re full of the bad prose and plot holes of a zero draft. I am ready for Nano. There is no one more ready than I am.

So why would I not participate?

I’m at a terrible stopping place in draft five of the novel I’m currently editing. A terrible place. Sure, I’m not in the middle of a chapter or anything, but the queen is about to maybe get killed and I’m about to leave her in suspense for a whole month. It seems cruel. I was supposed to be farther along than this. MUCH farther along. I was supposed to be finished with draft 5 by November 1st. The queen was supposed to know who was trying to kill her.  The main character was supposed to make up with her family.  I was supposed to put it in a drawer, and then dabble with changes, and then have a readable manuscript by January 1st.

Brian and I were to have lovely nights in front of our new fireplace, both bending over a copy of the manuscript while I read aloud, occasionally scribbling things in the margins. (Which is a joke if you know us. We’re more likely to get into horrible fights with me accusing him of being mean to my writing, and he not understanding why his gentle criticism was reinterpreted so horribly wrong. And then he threatens not to read my stuff anymore if I can’t behave myself. Sometimes there are tears.  And then I apologize and dupe him into participating in the same cycle again. But maybe slightly better, because I’m trying to behave myself. I really am.).

My eyes were bigger than my fingers, though. I couldn’t complete 20 pages a day and still be a human. It’s my own fault for giving myself more work than I could manage. That doesn’t make it any easier to put the thing in the drawer at this haphazard place.

I must finish this novel. This year.

But, new novel!!! It’s the prequel to the novel I’m currently writing. That means it’s sort of related, right? We could call it research? No? Anyone?

I’ll probably end up participating. Just knowing that there’s a party of writing going on somewhere on the internets is enough that I can’t stay away. No one can resist the traveling shovel of death, or the wombats, or the mass quantities of caffeine and sugar we’re all consuming. It’s an orgy of words and it’s wonderful. It’s a new novel in only a month; something to fall in and out of love with and then toss aside. The newness is what I crave. I haven’t written anything new in months.

And who knows? Maybe I’ll have time for both?

Yeah, I know.

But don’t rain on my parade, okay?

Categories: Life, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Back, plus Maine Pics

I should have updated, and I’m very sorry I haven’t. Vacation is wonderful, but the coming back from vacation is a swamp full of things that are undone. The living room is a travesty of dishes, and I’m not really sure what happened in the bedroom. Laundry monster, perhaps? Not to mention the pile of things at work.

 

Anyway, this is mostly to say that Maine was lovely. I was told I missed the best of the color, but it was still pretty spectacular. You should take a gander. Back to real posts soon, I promise.

 

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Jennyanydots

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I found a kitten last weekend.  It was the night of Kristen’s wedding (who is a good friend from college), and no one had been designated to bring the presents home.  Half of us were bushed, having stayed up until 3am decorating the hall the night before.  I was the half that did not decorate, and was (mostly) awake.  So Aseneth and I drove the presents to Kristen’s and had the neighbor let us in to put them carefully on her living room carpet in all their silvery glory.  Then we all three stood in the driveway and talked.  Then I took Aseneth home.  Then I drove home myself.  By the time I stood on my front porch with the key in my hand, trying to get the thing into the lock, I was pretty bushed myself.  It was after midnight.

And then there was this noise.  High pitched, and repeating.  It took me a second to realize that the noise was coming from a cat, and that the sound was shrill and frightened.  I wondered how Amy or Annie had gotten out – we’re usually so careful – and stepped up to the bushes to grab the problem child.  No cream and brown cats presented themselves.  Instead, there was a little black lump of fur tucked behind the umbrella plant.  I bent down and she came to me.  Her face was spotted cream and orange.  Not a calico, but as if a black tabby had been rubbed off in spots to reveal the marmalade underneath.  Her eyes were orange.

There wasn’t anything else to do.  I picked her up and brought her inside.  She weighed almost nothing, and she snuggled to my chest and began to purr.  She wasn’t crying anymore.

I closed the door with a clatter behind me, one arm still cradling the kitten.

“Is that you?” Brian called from upstairs, his voice thick with sleep.

“Yes, there’s a kitten on our doorstep,” I said.

“A kitten?”

“Yes.”

But he didn’t get up.  He probably fell back to sleep, and I wondered if he would even remember that I had found a kitten the next morning.  So there I was, alone with a furball and no idea what to do with it.  Brian is the cat person.  Heck, Brian is the reasonable person.

She had stopped meowing by now.  What does one do with a kitten found at midnight on the porch?  Amy and Annie were already tucked in their room upstairs for the night so we didn’t have to worry about them.  I sat on the kitchen floor and let the bit of fluff prance around with her tail in the air while eyeing the top of the cabinets.  I took my shoes off.  I petted her.  I asked her what she would like me to do with her.  She didn’t answer, but instead tried to jump onto the top of the cabinets and failed.

Eventually I decided on the downstairs bathroom.  I could put some towels in there and if she peed all over the place we could clean it up pretty easily.  The only litterbox was in the room the other cats were inhabiting.

I left her in the kitchen when I went upstairs to grab some towels.  I could hear her crying again, so I hurried back.  She had wedged herself, cowering, into the crook underneath the cabinets.  I was gone about 10 seconds.

“What are you doing?” I asked her.  “You’re fine, silly.”

She stopped crying pranced right out to me again, tail waving.

I put the towels, some water, and the cat into the bathroom.  She curled right up on the blue towel in a tiny black and orange lump.  She purred, and her head began to nod.  I closed the door when she fell asleep and then went to bed myself.  I worried about her all night long, in a strange house after a traumatic night in the bushes.

Brian and I went to the store Saturday morning and bought a second litterbox and some kitten food.  We fed her, watched her play with the Christmas bows I dug out of the wrapping paper box, and laughed at her gumby, falling over ways.  I have known many kittens and there is always something a little sadistic about them, but there is nothing like that about this gal.  She mostly just wants cuddles.  She bit my shirt yesterday, contemplatively, and then looked up at me with those big orange eyes.

We named her Jennyanydots, for her spotted coat and her gumbyness.  But also because she stretches her little legs out behind her like a dancer sometimes for no rhyme or reason.  Whether we claim T.S. Elliot or Cats the musical, it all works.  I did not have a hard time imagining her tap dancing with the cockroaches once we all go to bed.  I’m head over heels for her.

The only catch is the other cats.  They were here first.  If they don’t get along, then Miss Anydots will be seeking a home.  We plan to introduce them all tonight and I am crossing my fingers that it goes well.  I think giving her up might break my heart.

Categories: Life | Tags: , , , , | 3 Comments

It’s Up!

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My Story is up on the Dapper Press Lounge!  You should go check it out.  Seriously: http://www.dapperpress.com/lounge.  And then you, too, can know what the trees have to say.

There is also this lovely link in which I answer a series of questions about myself and my fears http://www.dapperpress.com/blog/2014/10/13/guest-post-haunted-lounge-author-casey-hamilton.  What can I say?  I’m all over the internet today.

I’m super proud of this one.  Thanks for checking it out! 🙂

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Maine (!!!)

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I should be deliciously happy that I’m going to Maine in only a week. And I am, in theory. There is something about Maine that is healing. I get to longing for those gray shores and crisp nights. I dream of the smell of fresh cut grass and the waving umbrella tops of Queen Anne’s Lace in the fields. The hole in my heart grows bigger the longer I’m away, but it’s become something I just bear. I can’t ever get to Maine as much as I’d like to. One trip will tide me over for another few years. My roots will have tasted home soil and I will feel much better, I’m sure.

This is the first time my sister and I have been sans fellows on a family trip in a long time. They’re nice to have around, of course, but it’s a different kind of trip without them.  I’m looking forward to it.

I have big plans to finish draft 5 of the novel, staring at my laptop screen until all hours of the night. I will be inside, but I will know that the stars are shining brighter outside my window than they ever do in California. In Maine you can see the Milky Way cutting across the dark sky. In California I am lucky to pick out Orion. My sister and I will also visit with my grandmother’s sister and see what Salem is like the week before Halloween. I plan to eat lobster, watch the boats chug by out the (new) French door, take lots of pictures, and follow my whims in all things. The Queen Anne’s Lace will be frozen into submission and the fields will be brown, but the forests will be full of color and the fierce, reedy beauty of Fall in Maine will be out in force.

It sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? That is why I am not yet deliciously happy. I want it too badly, so surely work will rescind their permission for me to take time off. Or Brian will find that he cannot spare me for a week. Or something unseen and crushing will conspire to ruin it. Until I am on that plane…

But, no sense in being a total pessimist. I have bought brown oxfords and have dug my sweaters out of the depths of the bottom drawer. Maine, here I (most likely) come!

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Book Reviews: 4 by John Green

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Looking for Alaska:

I picked this one up because I felt I had to jump on the John Green, The Fault In Our Stars bandwagon. The movie was coming out, and his work was EVERYWHERE. Even if I didn’t like his stuff, it was enough of a cultural phenomenon that I had to have an opinion. I knew I couldn’t handle a kids with cancer, dying sort of novel so I looked at what else he had written. Looking for Alaska was a NY Times Best Seller.

I really loved the way he organized this novel. Most of his books are the linear chapter 1, 2, 3… you expect but this one isn’t. This one is broken up into “before” and “after,” but you have no idea what the event in the middle is until it happens. I had a growing realization of the doom of it as I read the novel and I hoped I was wrong. I wasn’t.

Pudge and the Colonel are hilarious with their dilapidated couch, and their milk & vodka antics. Alaska is a spitfire of a girl who feels so real that she’s easy to fall in love with despite the crazy that’s lurking inside. Pudge has his last words and his Great Perhaps. She has her Labyrinth. The pranks they pull are genius. Especially the last one, the one Alaska masterminded. The novel walks this line between tragedy and comedy, with plenty of embarrassment thrown in. It feels like a cooler, more expansive version of my own high school life. My only criticism is that Green uses the high school, class-mimics-life trope that is so overused in high school stories. But if it has to be used, this is the way to do it.

I read a lot, and what I am reading for is to find those novels that take up head space and linger. They are rare. If I don’t find it in 80% of the books I read, I am at least guaranteed some entertainment along the way. Looking for Alaska is one of the lingering kind. I read it on kindle, but I purchased the nice hard back. It’s a keeper.

 An Abundance of Katherines:

This novel wounded me, and I’m not really sure why. It’s lighthearted. It features the Archduke Franz Ferdinand, a pig hunt, a grand theorem of dumping, a cave lair, and plenty of other silliness. I don’t know how John Greene gets women so right, but his girls are all some of the few women written by men who feel real. Lindsay Lee Wells is the sort of girl I wish I was: bold with no nonsense and sweet all at the same time. Colin’s assertion that his prodigy status doesn’t automatically make him a genius (or even successful) felt so true. Hassan’s Arabic insults make me smile.

I was wounded, I think, because the novel is about the things we give up because our families have expectations of us. It seems easier to not do, or conform, than to decide and leave. It’s about the burdens of a good upbringing amongst a supportive family and how that can shape someone, too. Lindsay Lee Wells’ life is not like my life, but I recognized her problems as old frenemies.   It’s about other things too, of course, and some are probably more evident to others than my own take away. Like the quest of us all to be original and the ways history changes through the generations. But that was the one that stuck in my heart and kept me pondering.

This was another book that was a thinker. I’m a convert to the John Greene church of nerdfighting (or whatever). I bought this one twice, too.

The Fault in Our Stars:

Perhaps, you think, I should have seen it coming? I did not. I thought, ‘John Greene, amazing writer, in a lauded book I’ve seen on the internet everywhere. I never cry at books. After the other two, I think I’m ready.” I also made the mistake of reading it on my lunch hour. I have not cried over a book since I was 12 and John Brooke died in Little Men. I ugly cried on my lunch hour over TFIOS. I’m 32. It didn’t help that tall, quippy, Augustus Waters reminded me a little of Brian.

Maybe I wouldn’t like to be Hazel Grace with pips in her lungs and an oxygen tank, but I would like to have that smart brain of hers. She is another force of nature like the rest of John Green’s girls. Her parents are great people. Augustus’s search to make a mark on the world that was permanent is something everyone I know has experienced. Isaac’s blindness is sad. All of their stories are sad, but they are so smart and so funny in the midst of all this tragedy. It is gallows humor, but it is the funniest gallows humor I have ever read.

I could say things about Amsterdam. Or about universes needing observation, tasting the stars, video games and inspirational needlepoint, or the literal heart of God. But I realize that I can’t even put this book into words. It’s something that must be experienced. It defies summary.

This one wasn’t a thinker. It was a life changer. Those are the rarest kind of books of all.

Paper Towns:

When I originally read Paper Towns, I felt like it was the worst of all John Green’s books (That sounds more terrible than I mean it to sound. It’s still far, FAR superior to most things I come across. ‘Worst’ is in relation to the rest of John Green, not to the rest of literature). I will still assert that Looking for Alaska was a better finding someone novel and An Abundance of Katherines was a better road trip novel. I did like his thesis that some people are windows and some people are mirrors, and you never know if you’re looking in a mirror or a window when you see someone. I feel more mirror than window most days.

The book is beautiful, too; all these abandoned settlements, tract houses, and malls. Visiting them was fun. Learning about paper towns was so interesting. There is a dog named Myrna Mountweasel. I realized after a few days that I do find myself thinking about this one. After I had written it off as not his best, I found myself pondering the abandoned mall, and the place they find Margot, among other things. I’m sure if I had read this one first it would have been another favorite. I still recommend it, but after TFIOS it was anti-climactic. Perhaps that is the real reason I didn’t fall head over heels with it.

Categories: Book Review | Tags: , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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